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Turd Jokes There once were two twin brothers, Bob and Paul. Although they were twins, they were very different. Bob was slow and stupid, with poor eyesight, while Paul was quick and cunning. One morning, before the sun had risen, Bob came rushing to Paul, burnt all down his left side with his pants down to his ankles. "Paul, Paul!" he cried. "I been a 'sittin on my toilet when all o' a sudden, dere were a big splash! So's I stood up and looked in, and dere in da toilet was a giant snake! I thought, 'It must be dat river python Susie lost last week!' But I was very scared, 'cuz dat snake was coiled up and ready to strike, and it had gleaming, round, yellow eyes. It twas as long as my arms stretched wide apart! I were so close I could hear it hissing an' growling. So I reached over to try to flush da toilet, but it got clogged! Oh, da horrers, da horrers! Da water came out and shorted out da electricity, but I could still hear it growling like thunder! So I took out a match and struck it and BOOM! - the room blew up! What should I do, Paul?" Paul took Bob by the hand, calmly saying, "Let's go take a look at this river python." They got to the bathroom, and Paul grabbed a plunger and went over and peered into the now scorched toilet, nodded, came back, and said, "Bob, looks like your river python's actually a giant turd, with pieces of corn for eyes." "Yes, but the hissing, what about the hissing?" Bob asked, confused. "Must of been gas," Paul explained. "Which then led to the explosion." Bob looked at his feet and whispered, "Oh."